Actual Advice Mallard

if you want to understand every song ever written just get your heart broken

if you want to understand every song ever written just get your heart broken  Actual Advice Mallard

Don't be that person that asks a guitarist "Do you play acoustic or electric?"

Don't be that person that asks a guitarist

If you "got her at hello" She's probably a slut

If you

When working in a grocery store Don't let the spider from the banana box run free

When working in a grocery store Don't let the spider from the banana box run free   Actual Advice Mallard

Buy cinnamon gum Your friends wont want it because it's 'too spicy'

Buy cinnamon gum Your friends wont want it because it's 'too spicy'  Actual Advice Mallard

if you need to wake up early sleep with your window curtains and blinds open. your room will be so bright in the morning you wont have a choice but to wake up

if you need to wake up early sleep with your window curtains and blinds open. your room will be so bright in the morning you wont have a choice but to wake up  Actual Advice Mallard

if you use advice mallard. don't give advice which requires common sense.

if you use advice mallard. don't give advice which requires common sense.  Actual Advice Mallard

When eating pussy don't be a pussy

When eating pussy don't be a pussy  Actual Advice Mallard

If you're driving at or below the speed limit and you see a pizza driver behind you Please speed up or pull over and let them pass. They're trying to make money, and more than likely have 3 or 4 places to go and a very short amount of time to get there.

If you're driving at or below the speed limit and you see a pizza driver behind you Please speed up or pull over and let them pass.  They're trying to make money, and more than likely have 3 or 4 places to go and a very short amount of time to get there.  Actual Advice Mallard

if someone asks if you want to make some money and then asks if you have a car take how you'd fare in prison into consideration

if someone asks if you want to make some money and then asks if you have a car take how you'd fare in prison into consideration   Actual Advice Mallard
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