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Actual Advice Mallard

when creeping with a camera phone pretend to scroll with your thumb

when creeping with a camera phone pretend to scroll with your thumb Actual Advice Mallard
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Not sure if a girl likes you enough to kiss you? Hold and play with her hands. If she is responsive - game on. if not, leave it.

Not sure if a girl likes you enough to kiss you? Hold and play with her hands. If she is responsive - game on. if not, leave it. Actual Advice Mallard
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If you like the taste of Oranges, but not the texture, Eat wedges with a gummi bear or similar chewy candy. The texture willdistract you from the orange.

If you like the taste of Oranges, but not the texture, Eat wedges with a gummi bear or similar chewy candy. The texture willdistract you from the orange. Actual Advice Mallard
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If you are having trouble urinating go to the doctor and get your prostate checked

If you are having trouble urinating go to the doctor and get your prostate checked Actual Advice Mallard
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if your meme caption is so long that the font becomes really small looking and takes up multiple lines Find a shorter way to say it

if your meme caption is so long that the font becomes really small looking and takes up multiple lines Find a shorter way to say it Actual Advice Mallard
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About to get hit by a car? Don't jump to the side, you don't know if they will try to swerve. Jump vertically and roll on the hood. THe angle will dissipate the impact and you'll look like a badass.

About to get hit by a car? Don't jump to the side, you don't know if they will try to swerve. Jump vertically and roll on the hood. THe angle will dissipate the impact and you'll look like a badass. Actual Advice Mallard
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If you murder someone Look for a C of E church with a funeral the next day, they will normally dig their graves the night before, so you can dig that premade grave deeper and hide the body under that

If you murder someone Look for a C of E church with a funeral the next day, they will normally dig their graves the night before, so you can dig that premade grave deeper and hide the body under that Actual Advice Mallard
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Don't use this meme

Don't use this meme Actual Advice Mallard
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Put your belt, phone and wallet into your carry-on while in line and you'll get through security faster than those who don't

Put your belt, phone and wallet into your carry-on while in line and you'll get through security faster than those who don't Actual Advice Mallard
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When ordering french fries at a restaurant ask for no salt Since they automatically salt them, you'll always get a fresh batch.

When ordering french fries at a restaurant ask for no salt Since they automatically salt them, you'll always get a fresh batch. Actual Advice Mallard
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