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Actual Advice Mallard

Put a piece of bread in a container with your cookies. They won't go stale.

Put a piece of bread in a container with your cookies. They won't go stale. Actual Advice Mallard
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In connection with the North Korea's threats Start collecting bottlecaps

In connection with the North Korea's threats Start collecting bottlecaps Actual Advice Mallard
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If a girl offers you her numbers tell her to call your cell phone rather than write it down. If she refuses, most likely she doesn't want you to have it.

If a girl offers you her numbers tell her to call your cell phone rather than write it down. If she refuses, most likely she doesn't want you to have it. Actual Advice Mallard
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when life gets crazy, act like a duck look calm on the surface but swim for your life underwater

when life gets crazy, act like a duck look calm on the surface but swim for your life underwater Actual Advice Mallard
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Never trust something that bleeds for a week and lives

Never trust something that bleeds for a week and lives Actual Advice Mallard
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Undervalue your car on your insurance in the event of a claim they always pay the market value but your premiums will reduce

Undervalue your car on your insurance in the event of a claim they always pay the market value but your premiums will reduce Actual Advice Mallard
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PUT YOUR CREDIT CARD NUMBER ON FILE AT A LOCAL FLORIST AND AUTOMATICALLY ORDER FLOWERS FOR HER BIRTHDAY, VALENTINES DAY & YOUR ANNIVERSARY YOU CAN FORGET THE DATE AND SHE WILL NEVER KNOW... AND OF COURSE, SEXY TIME!

PUT YOUR CREDIT CARD NUMBER ON FILE AT A LOCAL FLORIST AND AUTOMATICALLY ORDER FLOWERS FOR HER BIRTHDAY, VALENTINES DAY & YOUR ANNIVERSARY YOU CAN FORGET THE DATE AND SHE WILL NEVER KNOW... AND OF COURSE, SEXY TIME! Actual Advice Mallard
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If you find yourself becoming physically unnatracted to your wife/gf Pretend she is a hyper-realistic realdoll and imagine your celebrity crushes face on her

If you find yourself becoming physically unnatracted to your wife/gf Pretend she is a hyper-realistic realdoll and imagine your celebrity crushes face on her Actual Advice Mallard
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Want people to not steal your liquor at a college party? bring gin

Want people to not steal your liquor at a college party? bring gin Actual Advice Mallard
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If you're looking for a cigarette at the bar, offer somebody some change for one. You won't look like such a bum, and chances are they'll just give you one free anyway.

If you're looking for a cigarette at the bar, offer somebody some change for one. You won't look like such a bum, and chances are they'll just give you one free anyway. Actual Advice Mallard
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