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Actual Advice Mallard

Before buing a song on iTunes, check amazon It's usually 30 cents cheaper

Before buing a song on iTunes, check amazon It's usually 30 cents cheaper Actual Advice Mallard
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Women. Can't live with them, Can't kill them.

Women. Can't live with them, Can't kill them. Actual Advice Mallard
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If you have to pee in the middle of the night, hold one eye shut when you turn the bathroom light on You will be able to see just fine after you turn the light off and open both of your eyes

If you have to pee in the middle of the night, hold one eye shut when you turn the bathroom light on You will be able to see just fine after you turn the light off and open both of your eyes Actual Advice Mallard
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if you stand up too quickly and feel light headed flex any major muscles

if you stand up too quickly and feel light headed flex any major muscles Actual Advice Mallard
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If you act like an asshole to your customers expect them to treat you like shit, and expect to stay at your shitty job for a long time

If you act like an asshole to your customers expect them to treat you like shit, and expect to stay at your shitty job for a long time Actual Advice Mallard
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Never shake hands with a proctologist They have had that hand inside thousands of buttholes

Never shake hands with a proctologist They have had that hand inside thousands of buttholes Actual Advice Mallard
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IF YOUR FRIENDS HATE YOUR GIRLFRIEND DON'T TRY TO MAKE THEM HANG OUT WITH HER

IF YOUR FRIENDS HATE YOUR GIRLFRIEND DON'T TRY TO MAKE THEM HANG OUT WITH HER Actual Advice Mallard
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"I like your thongs" Doesn't mean the same in USA
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sign up for a first aid class at your college or university Most run them for free or cheap and you could end up saving someon's life

sign up for a first aid class at your college or university Most run them for free or cheap and you could end up saving someon's life Actual Advice Mallard
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All relationships end in sadness You either break up or die

All relationships end in sadness You either break up or die Actual Advice Mallard
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