Actual Advice Mallard

Before buing a song on iTunes, check amazon It's usually 30 cents cheaper

Before buing a song on iTunes, check amazon It's usually 30 cents cheaper  Actual Advice Mallard

Women. Can't live with them, Can't kill them.

Women. 
Can't live with them, Can't kill them.  Actual Advice Mallard

If you have to pee in the middle of the night, hold one eye shut when you turn the bathroom light on You will be able to see just fine after you turn the light off and open both of your eyes

If you have to pee in the middle of the night, hold one eye shut when you turn the bathroom light on You will be able to see just fine after you turn the light off and open both of your eyes  Actual Advice Mallard

if you stand up too quickly and feel light headed flex any major muscles

if you stand up too quickly and feel light headed flex any major muscles  Actual Advice Mallard

If you act like an asshole to your customers expect them to treat you like shit, and expect to stay at your shitty job for a long time

If you act like an asshole to your customers expect them to treat you like shit, and expect to stay at your shitty job for a long time  Actual Advice Mallard

Never shake hands with a proctologist They have had that hand inside thousands of buttholes

Never shake hands with a proctologist They have had that hand inside thousands of buttholes  Actual Advice Mallard

IF YOUR FRIENDS HATE YOUR GIRLFRIEND DON'T TRY TO MAKE THEM HANG OUT WITH HER

IF YOUR FRIENDS HATE YOUR GIRLFRIEND DON'T TRY TO MAKE THEM HANG OUT WITH HER  Actual Advice Mallard

"I like your thongs" Doesn't mean the same in USA

sign up for a first aid class at your college or university Most run them for free or cheap and you could end up saving someon's life

sign up for a first aid class at your college or university  Most run them for free or cheap and you could end up saving someon's life  Actual Advice Mallard

All relationships end in sadness You either break up or die

All relationships end in sadness You either break up or die  Actual Advice Mallard
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