Actual Advice Mallard

Friends Chastise you for being "weird"? You probably can't get new fucking friends.

Friends Chastise you for being

If you can't buy an item without being embarrassed You shouldn't be purchasing that item

If you can't buy an item without being embarrassed You shouldn't be purchasing that item  Actual Advice Mallard

Fat people are aware they are fat It's not ok to make a joke about it till I make one first

Fat people are aware they are fat It's not ok to make a joke about it till I make one first  Actual Advice Mallard

If you are voluntold to do a menial job at work You reached the dead end of your career

If you are voluntold to do a menial job at work You reached the dead end of your career  Actual Advice Mallard

If your breath still smells or tastes poopy shortly after brushing you need to floss

If your breath still smells or tastes poopy shortly after brushing you need to floss  Actual Advice Mallard

Christian parents of reddit, don't drag your kids to church, It will only make us resent you and the religion for it.

Christian parents of reddit, don't drag your kids to church, It will only make us resent you and the religion for it.  Actual Advice Mallard

Hear gunshots? Duck

Hear gunshots? Duck  Actual Advice Mallard

If a job offer sounds too good it is

If a job offer sounds too good it is  Actual Advice Mallard

It also works for Australians posting at night title your post something that the Americans can't resist clicking on

It also works for Australians posting at night title your post something that the Americans can't resist clicking on   Actual Advice Mallard

Poop in the bathrooms of newer academic buildings they're generally nicer and have double ply

Poop in the bathrooms of newer academic buildings they're generally nicer and have double ply  Actual Advice Mallard
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