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Actual Advice Mallard
be nice to everyone you meet because that is the right thing to do
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If you're already in the other lane It's too late to signal your lane change
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Don't tell anyone you have a job interview If it doesn't go well, you want to forget it, not have everyone ask you how it went
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When you lie in bed after drinking too much, lie on your stomach You could prematurely vomit in your sleep and choke
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if your turn signal isn't working pump your brakes or flash your hazard lights for 4 or 5 seconds to let the cars around you know something is about to happen.
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You'll always judge yourself on what you are capable of doing But Everyone else judges you on what you've done
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If your credit card company calls you Answer the phone and be polite. Chances are we're trying to help and might even offer you free money.
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Want to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but there's a hole in the bread and you don't want to get a plate? Pinch the hole closed.
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do not ever make memes in this text you will get destroyed
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Getting robbed at an atm? enter your pin backwards
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