Malicious Advice Mallard

Don't know what to get your girlfriend for valentine's day? Dump her, then get back together with her after Valentine's day

Don't know what to get your girlfriend for valentine's day?  Dump her, then get back together with her after Valentine's day  Malicious Advice Mallard

keep using confession bear to admit to crimes cops don't know how to use the internet

keep using confession bear to admit to crimes cops don't know how to use the internet  Malicious Advice Mallard

whatever you should be doing right now Can wait until you're done surfing reddit

whatever you should be doing right now Can wait until you're done surfing reddit  Malicious Advice Mallard

if you are behind the boston marathon bombing now's the time to make a confession bear meme

if you are behind the boston marathon bombing now's the time to make a confession bear meme  Malicious Advice Mallard

resist arrest The cops will see their mistake

resist arrest The cops will see their mistake   Malicious Advice Mallard

Not sure why somebody is crying? Ask, "Is it because of your haircut?"

Not sure why somebody is crying? Ask,

Awkward boner in public? Massage it. It'll relax the muscles and make it go away

Awkward boner in public? Massage it. It'll relax the muscles and make it go away  Malicious Advice Mallard

meeting a foreign person for the first time? imitate their accent when talking to them. they'll feel more at home.

meeting a foreign person for the first time? imitate their accent when talking to them.  they'll feel more at home.  Malicious Advice Mallard

If you preface any insult with "no offense" you can say as many hurtful things as you want

If you preface any insult with

about to have sex, but out of condoms? Just tell her to get on top. Gravity is natures birth control.

about to have sex, but out of condoms?
 Just tell her to get on top. Gravity is natures birth control.  Malicious Advice Mallard
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