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Outdated Advice Mallard
Broke your video game? Blow on the cartridge
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There's no chance that the iPhone is going to get any significant market share. No chance -Steve Ballmer
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need to lose weight? have a capsule full of Tapeworm eggs
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When walking on the sidewalk Be sure to give way to white folks
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Remember to bring your rations card with you You don't want to be turned away.
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I can't make the lynching My new horse hasn't been broken in yet
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Protect your skin from the sun By getting a sunburn at the start of every summer
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Your baby is teething Give it a little whiskey
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Movie Night? Rent it from Blockbuster
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suffering from famine? Sacrifice the king and spread his blood upon the fields
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