Actual Advice Mallard

HAMBRE COCINAR

CÁSATE CON ALGUIEN QUE SEPA COCINAR EL AMOR PASA, EL HAMBRE NO Actual Advice Mallard

Good tip from my dad

HOLD YOUR DRINK IN YOUR LEFT HAND SO YOU'RE NOT FRANTICALLY SWITCHING AND WIPING YOUR HAND TO SHAKE SOMEONE ELSE'S HAND Actual Advice Mallard

Learned this the hard way

IF YOUR GIRLFRIEND CHEATED ON HER LAST BOYFRIEND WITH YOU DON'T BE SURPRISED WHEN SHE CHEATS ON YOU Actual Advice Mallard

Advice Duck

MURDER SOMEBODY AND DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THE BODY? DIG A 12 FEET DEEP HOLE. BURY THE HUMAN BODY AT THE BOTTOM, AND THEN PUT 6 FEET OF DIRT BACK ON. PUT A DEAD DOG IN NEXT, AND THEN COVER THAT UP. SEARCH DOGS WILL DIG THE DOG UP, LEADING POLICE TO THINK IT'S A FALSE POSITIVE. Actual Advice Mallard

I STAND WITH PHIL.

  Actual Advice Mallard

MATETE SI TE FALLA

SI UNA MUJER TE DA OTRA OPORTUNIDAD Y LE VOLVISTE A FALLAR  NO SÉ, MÁTATE!!!!!!! Actual Advice Mallard

Customer Service AAM

IF A CUSTOMER SERVICE REP CAN PLASTER ON A SMILE FOR HOURS ON END FOR YOU THEN YOU CAN SMILE FOR THE 5 SECONDS IT TAKES TO ACKNOWLEDGE THEM. Actual Advice Mallard

BELLA? CLARO

QUE SI ERES BELLA? POR SUPUESTO QUE LO ERES! CON TU BIGOTE Y TODO Actual Advice Mallard

Who gives a duck?

REALLY! WHO GIVES A DUCK? Actual Advice Mallard

Actual Advice Mallard on Exes

IF IT WAS GOING TO WORK OUT, THEN IT WOULD HAVE WORKED OUT THATS WHY SHE'S YOUR EX Actual Advice Mallard