Actual Advice Mallard

Never argue with...

NEVER ARGUE WITH AN IDIOT FIRST, HE WILL BRING YOU DOWN TO HIS LEVEL, THEN WIN BECAUSE OF EXPERIENCE Actual Advice Mallard

Attention Couples

IF YOU'RE A COUPLE AND INVITE A SINGLE FRIEND OUT DON'T MAKE HIM/HER FEEL LIKE A THIRD WHEEL  Actual Advice Mallard

When you haven't got laid in awhile...

REMEMBER THAT IN WARTIME EVERY HOLE IS A TRENCH Actual Advice Mallard

Arcade Fire

IN CASE OF ARCADE FIRE, MAKE SURE TO GRAB YOUR TOKENS BEFORE YOU GO. Actual Advice Mallard

Learn Martial Arts

LEARN MARTIAL ARTS IT WILL SPILL OVER INTO ALL ASPECTS OF YOUR LIFE AND MAKE YOU A BETTER PERSON. Actual Advice Mallard

It causes more accidents than you would think

DON'T BE A POLITE DRIVER  BE A CORRECT DRIVER Actual Advice Mallard

Texts at 1:30 AM

PUT YOUR PHONE ON ALL SILENT YOUR ALARM WILL STILL GO OFF Actual Advice Mallard

Blank Texts at 1:30 Am

PUT YOUR PHONE ON ALL SILENT WHEN YOU GO TO BED YOU ALARM WILL STILL GO OFF Actual Advice Mallard

Scott Stemp Sucks

 SCOTT STEMP SUCKS Actual Advice Mallard

just don't write it as status

IF YOU HAD A HARD TIME BETTER NOT TO WRITE IT AS FACEBOOK STATUS Actual Advice Mallard