Actual Advice Mallard

A bit of advice for those who don't know

WHEN USING PANDORA IF YOUR STATION IS PLAYING SONGS THAT YOU LIKE, DON'T VOTE. THIS TELLS THE ENGINE THAT YOU LIKE THE SELECTIONS IT'S MAKING. VOTING SAYS

duck meme

GUESS WHAT I'M DOING THIS SUNDAY AT 2PM? I'M GOING TO PIETE'S FLOOR MEETING/CHILL SESH CUZ ITS MANDATORY FOR ALL STUDENTS ON THE FLOOR TO GO Actual Advice Mallard

Piss fart

PINKEYE? GET SOME WHEATGRASS, GENTLE MASSAGE IT INTO YOUR SPHINCTER, COUNT TO THIRTY BACKWARDS AND THEN FUCK OFF! Actual Advice Mallard

If A Woman...

IF A WOMAN GETS REALLY QUIET OUT OF NOWHERE... RUN Actual Advice Mallard

If A Woman...

IF A WOMAN CAN COOK, HAS A PERSONALITY AND LOOKS... DON'T LET HER GO. Actual Advice Mallard

If a woman...

IF A WOMAN ASKS YOU IF SHE LOOKS FAT RUN Actual Advice Mallard

always say this after writing a test

IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU HOW WAS THE TEST  ALWAYS SAY

stupid libraries

GO TO CLARK STACKS INSTEAD OF CLEMONS THAT WAY YOU'RE AROUND PEOPLE THAT ACTUALLY STUDY AND WON'T BOTHER YOU Actual Advice Mallard

seriously, people get hurt

GET TO END OF THE ESCALATOR?  DON'T STOP MOVING Actual Advice Mallard

it gets annoying from time to time

PLEASE DO NOT TELL US THAT YOUR GOING TO TAKE US TO COURT FOR A $50 CREDIT INSTEAD BE NICE OR ASK FOR A SUPERVISOR AND WE WILL WORK SOMETHING OUT! Actual Advice Mallard