Actual Advice Mallard

always remember

     ALWAYS REMEMBER              FLOSS AND MASTURBATE      Actual Advice Mallard

Come Down

I DON'T ALWAYS LAND IN THE SPREAD BUT WHEN I DO IT'S BECAUSE OF A KM CUT-DOWN Actual Advice Mallard

Relationship Advice

IF SOMEONE SEEMS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE THEY USUALLY ARE Actual Advice Mallard

Be nice to the dogs

IF A DOG IS EXCESSIVELY PANTING AND DROOLING IN A CAR  IT'S NOT EXCITED, IT FEELS SICK Actual Advice Mallard

For a good time...

IF YOU FIND YOURSELF LOOKING FOR AN EXCELLENT COVER BAND... GO LIKE DOWNFALL! THEY'RE ONE OF THE REGIONS BEST! Actual Advice Mallard

Common fucking sense

WHEN SOMEONE DOES NOT REPLY TO YOUR TEXT, DON'T GET MAD BECAUSE MAYBE THAT PERSON WAS ACTUALLY ASLEEP.....FGT  Actual Advice Mallard

So many people don't seem to understand this when they say 'you must be on your period'

PMS STANDS FOR PRE-MENSTRUAL SYNDROME SO IF SHE HAS IT, SHE'S NOT ON HER PERIOD, BUT WILL BE SOON Actual Advice Mallard

Truth for all

IF YOU'RE GOING TO SAY SOMETHING THAT DESCRIBES YOU MAKE SURE YOU'RE TELLING THE TRUTH AND NOT CONTRADICTING WHO YOU REALLY ARE Actual Advice Mallard

Quackers! laccers

QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK  Actual Advice Mallard

Anaheim Ducks at Pittsburgh Penguins

THOUGHTS ON TONIGHT'S GAME: BOY DO I LOVE GIVEAWAYS! Actual Advice Mallard