Actual Advice Mallard

Stale bread? take it down to the nearest lake. We're always happy to help. In 30 seconds it'll all be gone.

Stale bread? take it down to the nearest lake. We're always happy to help. In 30 seconds it'll all be gone.  Actual Advice Mallard

If your car is snowed in and you don't have a shovel use a dust pan, it works well and can be easily kept in the car

If your car is snowed in and you don't have a shovel use a dust pan, it works well and can be easily kept in the car  Actual Advice Mallard

Feeling down? Exercise, then take a shower You'll feel even better

Feeling down?
Exercise, then take a shower 
You'll feel even better  Actual Advice Mallard

Thinking of making an Actual Advice Mallard? Just go masturbate in the bathroom.

Thinking of making an Actual Advice Mallard? Just go masturbate in the bathroom.  Actual Advice Mallard

If your dog gets loose and won't come to you Dont chase it on foot. Get in your car, catch up to it, and open your car door.

If your dog gets loose and won't come to you Dont chase it on foot.  Get in your car, catch up to it, and open your car door.  Actual Advice Mallard

If you're thinking about making a Confession Bear meme Don't

If you're thinking about making a Confession Bear meme Don't  Actual Advice Mallard

BREATHE

 BREATHE  Actual Advice Mallard

Before you take a shower Put your clothes and towel on a heater

Before you take a shower Put your clothes and towel on a heater  Actual Advice Mallard

Before you rent an apartment Do some research on the landlord to make sure they aren't going to steal your security deposit.

Before you rent an apartment Do some research on the landlord to make sure they aren't going to steal your security deposit.  Actual Advice Mallard

Take out your sim card when you go out at night You can still get a girl's number, but can't drunk dial or text

Take out your sim card when you go out at night You can still get a girl's number, but can't drunk dial or text  Actual Advice Mallard
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