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Actual Advice Mallard

Need to poop? Just start wiping. Your scumbag body will do the rest.

Need to poop? Just start wiping. Your scumbag body will do the rest. Actual Advice Mallard
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to zoom your browser in and out hit + or - while Holding the CTRL key

to zoom your browser in and out hit + or - while Holding the CTRL key Actual Advice Mallard
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has your sugar gone hard? Drop a lemon wedge in with it.

has your sugar gone hard? Drop a lemon wedge in with it. Actual Advice Mallard
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When meeting your GF's hot mom for the first time It is wise to not start a slow clap

When meeting your GF's hot mom for the first time It is wise to not start a slow clap Actual Advice Mallard
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Afraid of getting your car stolen? No worries, just unhook the battery. No thief will have the time to pop the hood.

Afraid of getting your car stolen? No worries, just unhook the battery. No thief will have the time to pop the hood. Actual Advice Mallard
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Have an itch? Heat a sock full of rice in the microwave and apply it to the itchy spot until you can no longer stand the heat. When you remove it, the itch will be gone.

Have an itch? Heat a sock full of rice in the microwave and apply it to the itchy spot until you can no longer stand the heat. When you remove it, the itch will be gone. Actual Advice Mallard
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Don't date overweight women if they eat so much, it's because they compensate psychological issues

Don't date overweight women if they eat so much, it's because they compensate psychological issues Actual Advice Mallard
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When you're trying to lower your blinds pull the string to the left and they'll drop instantly

When you're trying to lower your blinds pull the string to the left and they'll drop instantly Actual Advice Mallard
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Want to enjoy interacting online with others? Don't take things so seriously.

Want to enjoy interacting online with others? Don't take things so seriously. Actual Advice Mallard
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If you have a cool vintage pic of your dad post it to r/pics rather than r/funny you'll get alot more karma that way

If you have a cool vintage pic of your dad post it to r/pics rather than r/funny you'll get alot more karma that way Actual Advice Mallard
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