Actual Advice Mallard

If you like having cool things dont move in with your girlfriend

If you like having cool things dont move in with your girlfriend   Actual Advice Mallard

If you want to reduce belly button fluff Trim the hair around your Belly Button

If you want to reduce belly button fluff Trim the hair around 
your Belly Button  Actual Advice Mallard

if you're gonna get raped shit your pants

if you're gonna get raped shit your pants  Actual Advice Mallard

if you ever attack someone in a dark alley and happen to hear a police radio they atleast have a smartphone if they dont have cash

if you ever attack someone in a dark alley and happen to hear a police radio they atleast have a smartphone if they dont have cash  Actual Advice Mallard

After dumping a massive smelly poop, lift the toilet seat up So when you exit no one will think it was you

After dumping a massive smelly poop, lift the toilet seat up So when you exit no one will think it was you  Actual Advice Mallard

If a cashier is holding out his or her hand don't put the fucking money on the counter - especially the coins. It's incredibly annoying and a pain in the ass.

If a cashier is holding out his or her hand  don't put the fucking money on the counter - especially the coins.  It's incredibly annoying and a pain in the ass.  Actual Advice Mallard

when drafting email put yourself as the recipient, so if you accidentally send it...

when drafting email put yourself as the recipient, so if you accidentally send it...  Actual Advice Mallard

never, ever , ever refer to a woman's menstrual cycle as gross

never, ever , ever refer to a woman's menstrual cycle as gross  Actual Advice Mallard

Don't let your kids bang on the glass or scram at the animals the animals will get scared and hide for the rest of the day

Don't let your kids bang on the glass or scram at the animals the animals will get scared and hide for the rest of the day  Actual Advice Mallard

Don't go to prison Then you can pee in comfort at home without worrying about rape.

Don't go to prison Then you can pee in comfort at home without worrying about rape.  Actual Advice Mallard
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