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Actual Advice Mallard

If you like having cool things dont move in with your girlfriend

If you like having cool things dont move in with your girlfriend Actual Advice Mallard
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If you want to reduce belly button fluff Trim the hair around your Belly Button

If you want to reduce belly button fluff Trim the hair around your Belly Button Actual Advice Mallard
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if you're gonna get raped shit your pants

if you're gonna get raped shit your pants Actual Advice Mallard
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if you ever attack someone in a dark alley and happen to hear a police radio they atleast have a smartphone if they dont have cash

if you ever attack someone in a dark alley and happen to hear a police radio they atleast have a smartphone if they dont have cash Actual Advice Mallard
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After dumping a massive smelly poop, lift the toilet seat up So when you exit no one will think it was you

After dumping a massive smelly poop, lift the toilet seat up So when you exit no one will think it was you Actual Advice Mallard
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If a cashier is holding out his or her hand don't put the fucking money on the counter - especially the coins. It's incredibly annoying and a pain in the ass.

If a cashier is holding out his or her hand don't put the fucking money on the counter - especially the coins. It's incredibly annoying and a pain in the ass. Actual Advice Mallard
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when drafting email put yourself as the recipient, so if you accidentally send it...

when drafting email put yourself as the recipient, so if you accidentally send it... Actual Advice Mallard
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never, ever , ever refer to a woman's menstrual cycle as gross

never, ever , ever refer to a woman's menstrual cycle as gross Actual Advice Mallard
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Don't let your kids bang on the glass or scram at the animals the animals will get scared and hide for the rest of the day

Don't let your kids bang on the glass or scram at the animals the animals will get scared and hide for the rest of the day Actual Advice Mallard
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Don't go to prison Then you can pee in comfort at home without worrying about rape.

Don't go to prison Then you can pee in comfort at home without worrying about rape. Actual Advice Mallard
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