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Actual Advice Mallard

Cant find your phone? try keeping it in your fucking pocket

Cant find your phone? try keeping it in your fucking pocket Actual Advice Mallard
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Putting on a hot pair of boxer briefs from the dryer Is better than sex

Putting on a hot pair of boxer briefs from the dryer Is better than sex Actual Advice Mallard
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Never tell your problems to anyone 20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.

Never tell your problems to anyone 20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them. Actual Advice Mallard
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Smile even if you have nothing to smile about It will trick your brain into feeling better anyway

Smile even if you have nothing to smile about It will trick your brain into feeling better anyway Actual Advice Mallard
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Don't use comparisons like "This is the greatest night ever!" Use adjectives like "This has been an awesome night!"

Don't use comparisons like
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Text: "Redcross" To: 90999

Text:
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Just because someone speaks with confidence Doesn't mean they are right

Just because someone speaks with confidence Doesn't mean they are right Actual Advice Mallard
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Want to lose weight? Eat nothing but water

Want to lose weight? Eat nothing but water Actual Advice Mallard
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When you're having trouble opening a jar, poke a hole in the lid, it'll make it easier to open then, if you want to use it again, put some aluminum tape on the lid to cover the hole

When you're having trouble opening a jar, poke a hole in the lid, it'll make it easier to open then, if you want to use it again, put some aluminum tape on the lid to cover the hole Actual Advice Mallard
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All Frozen Goods: 400 °F - 12 minutes!

All Frozen Goods: 400 °F - 12 minutes! Actual Advice Mallard
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