Actual Advice Mallard

Cant find your phone? try keeping it in your fucking pocket

Cant find your phone? try keeping it in your fucking pocket  Actual Advice Mallard

Putting on a hot pair of boxer briefs from the dryer Is better than sex

Putting on a hot pair of boxer briefs from the dryer Is better than sex  Actual Advice Mallard

Never tell your problems to anyone 20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.

Never tell your problems to anyone 20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.  Actual Advice Mallard

Smile even if you have nothing to smile about It will trick your brain into feeling better anyway

Smile even if you have nothing to smile about It will trick your brain into feeling better anyway  Actual Advice Mallard

Don't use comparisons like "This is the greatest night ever!" Use adjectives like "This has been an awesome night!"

Don't use comparisons like

Text: "Redcross" To: 90999

Text:

Just because someone speaks with confidence Doesn't mean they are right

Just because someone speaks with confidence Doesn't mean they are right  Actual Advice Mallard

Want to lose weight? Eat nothing but water

Want to lose weight? Eat nothing but water  Actual Advice Mallard

When you're having trouble opening a jar, poke a hole in the lid, it'll make it easier to open then, if you want to use it again, put some aluminum tape on the lid to cover the hole

When you're having trouble opening a jar, poke a hole in the lid, it'll make it easier to open then, if you want to use it again, put some aluminum tape on the lid to cover the hole  Actual Advice Mallard

All Frozen Goods: 400 °F - 12 minutes!

All Frozen Goods: 400 °F - 12 minutes!  Actual Advice Mallard
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