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Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin

Finally got my infant down for a nap Wasting my time on reddit instead of sleeping myself

Finally got my infant down for a nap Wasting my time on reddit instead of sleeping myself Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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Girl enters number into my phone "Who's number is this?"

Girl enters number into my phone
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ME: So i drank a bottle of tequila last night. Girl (impressed): a whole fifth? Me: No I think it was like 3/4.

ME: So i drank a bottle of tequila last night. Girl (impressed): a whole fifth? Me: No I think it was like 3/4. Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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Has amazing best friend who just happens to have a boyfriend Ends up hating me because of the rumors people spread saying I like her

Has amazing best friend who just happens to have a boyfriend Ends up hating me because of the rumors people spread saying I like her Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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Internet is so fast Makes me Host of all games causing serious lag

Internet is so fast Makes me Host of all games causing serious lag Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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Fluently speaks Spanish as a second language gets so nervous it comes out as stutters, stammers & borderline offensive broken English/Spanish

Fluently speaks Spanish as a second language gets so nervous it comes out as stutters, stammers & borderline offensive broken English/Spanish Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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Made sure I opened the car door for my date every time just so I could fart while walking around the vehicle to my door.

Made sure I opened the car door for my date every time just so I could fart while walking around the vehicle to my door. Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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REAL LIFE INTERNET

REAL LIFE INTERNET Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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order sandwich FOOTBALL MEATLONG

order sandwich FOOTBALL MEATLONG Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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Girlfriend joins reddit Already has more karma than I do

Girlfriend joins reddit Already has more karma than I do Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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