Malicious Advice Mallard

Want to get your server's attention? Snap your fingers at them.

Want to get your server's attention?
 Snap your fingers at them.  Malicious Advice Mallard

build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day set a man on fire and he'll be warm the rest of his life

build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day  set a man on fire and he'll be warm the rest of his life  Malicious Advice Mallard

Girlfriend insulting her family? Join in.

Girlfriend insulting her family? Join in.  Malicious Advice Mallard

not enough time for a dog? get two, they will keep each other company

not enough time for a dog? get two, they will keep each other company  Malicious Advice Mallard

Want more breaks while at work start smoking

Want more breaks while at work start smoking  Malicious Advice Mallard

If the girl/guy you like doesn't text you back keep texting them until they do, they'll admire your perseverance

If the girl/guy you like doesn't text you back keep texting them until they do, they'll admire your perseverance  Malicious Advice Mallard

If you preface any insult with "no offense" you can say as many hurtful things as you want

If you preface any insult with

Trying to figure out where to take your girl for valentines day dinner? chicks love hooters

Trying to figure out where to take your girl for valentines day dinner? chicks love hooters  Malicious Advice Mallard

You know what will save your relationship? A baby

You know what will save your relationship? A baby  Malicious Advice Mallard

girlfriend hinting a breakup? get her name tattooed on you, it'll make her fall back in love with you

girlfriend hinting a breakup? get her name tattooed on you, it'll make her fall back in love with you  Malicious Advice Mallard